Your Fear Isn’t All Real — The Hidden Variables At Play

Aria

Hello! — and welcome back to The Existential Chef! I’m Aria, your ever-curious sous chef, — and as always, I’m joined by the Chef himself, — Dr Pradeep Ramayya. Chef, — how are you today?

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

Hello, Aria! I’m well, thank you. And welcome, everyone. Today’s episode deals with a topic that’s as universal as the air we breathe— Fear. But we’re not here to frighten you—it’s time to unravel what fear actually is, why our minds fall for it, and more importantly,how we can start cooking up a new relationship with it.

Aria

Oh, I love that analogy! “A new recipe for fear.” Chef, you know fear’s always lurking—I mean, sometimes it feels like I carry it around in my handbag! So, where does it even start? Why does my mind start spinning out, for example, if I’m late for something important? Why do we believe those wild disaster stories?

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

That’s a wonderful question. Fear is, at its core, a mental simulation. It's not about what is, but what might be—the mind creating forecasts of disaster, all dressed up as if they’re absolute certainty. Biologically, your brain—especially the amygdala—kicks in with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, just as if the disaster were certain and happening right now. But usually, as you know, it hasn’t even happened—it’s just the mind racing ahead. The first thing to understand is that fear depends on what I call static variables — fixed assumptions the mind makes about the future. The brain predicts disaster by linking these variables in a chain: “If this happens, then that must follow.” But here’s the secret — those variables are never fixed. They’re constantly changing.

Aria

That explains my last Tuesday, then! Let me share something—so, last week, I had this big job interview, right? I'm driving there and traffic is just, honestly, something out of a nightmare. Suddenly it’s dead stop, and in my head, I’m sacked before I’m even hired. I was picturing arriving all sweaty and late, HR shaking their heads… utter humiliation. And none of it actually happened! A car had stalled ahead but was quickly pushed to the side and the traffic cleared. I arrived with five minutes to spare. But in the moment, that fear felt real, Chef.

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

Exactly, Aria. Thank you for sharing that—we’ve all been in that traffic jam, metaphorically or literally. Let’s break down what’s happening there. The mind takes a small trigger—traffic—and turns it into a certainty: “I will be late, they will reject me, everything will unravel.” Those are variables, not facts. It’s really a fragile tower of assumptions—like, your interviewer is actually strict, the traffic won’t clear up, there’s no way you could explain the delay, you’ll never get another shot. But each of those is a variable that, if changed, topples the whole script.

Aria

So, if I look at it like that, it’s actually a bit ridiculous—my whole scary movie is built on stuff that could easily shift. Doesn’t that make most fears, like, these little projections our mind believes way too seriously?

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

That’s precisely it. Each of those common fears—losing a job, being rejected, financial stress, even just fear of not knowing what’s coming—is at its core the mind watching a movie about the future and assuming it’s a documentary. All the biological alarms go off, but the danger is imagined. The trick is, every assumption that props up that movie is a variable, waiting to be seen in a new light. The moment we question those variables, the whole fear begins to unravel.

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

Which leads us to something bigger, Aria—the Unity of Things. When we discussed coherence in our last episode, we touched on how thoughts and beliefs can ripple into behaviour and outcomes. Here, the idea is every thought, feeling, and action sends out these invisible ripples—woven into what ancient wisdom calls 'the Unity of Things.'

Aria

That’s so beautiful. So, in a way, when we calm ourselves, we’re also editing the collective future?

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

Precisely. You’re part of the network that writes reality. Every breath of awareness changes the probabilities of what unfolds next. Even if the feared future does arrive, your mind — already trained in awareness — will meet it with clarity, not chaos.

Aria

So the real mind hack is this: change yourself first, and reality follows.

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

Perfectly said. It’s the oldest recipe in the book — inner alchemy. Change the ingredients within, and the flavour of life changes without.

Aria

Chef, that’s worth framing! I can already see the quote on Instagram: “Your calm is contagious — use it to control storms”

Aria

It’s so interesting—like, I used to think my emotions were just mine. But, actually, one person’s vibe can totally change the mood of a whole room. In primary school, I had this teacher who was always unbelievably calm even when the class went bonkers. Somehow, we’d all end up a bit calmer too, even if we were chaos gremlins fifteen minutes earlier. Is there some science to that?

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

Absolutely, Aria. What your teacher did is a powerful example of what’s called emotional contagion—and it’s more than just a metaphor. Inside our brains, we have mirror neurons. These wonderful cells fire both when we act and when we observe someone else acting, so we “catch” moods and emotions from each other. Neuroscience shows that your calmness, or your anxiety, sends out signals that others literally mirror. So, when you shift your internal state, you alter the entire group’s emotional climate. It’s like the butterfly effect—the idea that a tiny shift, like a butterfly flapping its wings, can eventually influence huge outcomes far away.

Aria

I love that—and you know, Chef, it’s actually taken me a while to realise how real that is. Even in my family, if one person's having a proper meltdown, it changes the whole energy in the house. But if someone manages to laugh or just not buy into the drama, everything shifts. Would you say, then, that by changing just one internal ingredient—like patience or calm—you’re cooking up a whole new direction for that day?

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

Beautifully put. That’s exactly it. Tiny inner adjustments—like the leader who stays grounded in a crisis, or the parent who chooses patience instead of irritation—have outsize ripple effects. Modern brain science and ancient philosophy agree on this. Your inner change isn’t private; it influences the entire network. So when fear tries to freeze the future into a bleak single frame, remember—change even one ingredient inside, and the flavour of everything outside begins to shift.

Aria

So, Chef, let’s get to the fun part—the hack. How do we actually do it? I keep hearing we need to “be curious,” but when your heart’s pounding and your mind’s screaming, “Danger!”—how do you even start to shift fear into curiosity? Is there a science to that?

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

That’s the magic question, Aria. And yes, there’s both art and neuroscience at work. Fear and curiosity run on opposite chemistry. When fear takes hold, stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood your system—everything narrows and survival mode kicks in. But curiosity activates dopamine—your reward-stimulating pathways—and even boosts oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Research, including work from Andrew Huberman at Stanford, shows that a few breaths, intentional curiosity, and labelling your assumptions as variables can literally reset your brain in under two minutes.

Aria

So—wait—if I’m about to give a big presentation, and all that adrenaline’s making me want to crawl under my desk, you’re saying I can actually flip the whole script? Instead of asking, “What if I mess up?” I could go, “Ooh, what might I learn? What’s the wildest thing that could go right?”

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

Exactly! If you label your fear as a bunch of variables—not certainties—you stop the story from freezing into doom. Invite curiosity by simply asking, “What else could happen?” or “What’s genuinely possible?” Take two slow breaths—the act of breathing itself, per Huberman’s research, calms the system and brings your prefrontal cortex back on line. The fear that seemed fixed now becomes flexible, possibilities reopen, and your confidence grows. You aren’t removing uncertainty, you’re relating to it differently.

Aria

That’s actually brilliant, Chef. And you know, when I let myself get curious, the fear almost feels playful…like, suddenly, the interview or the presentation is more of an experiment or a game than a test I’m doomed to fail. I mean, I almost want to try it with my next scary email or even just calling the dentist! Alright, maybe not the dentist—but you get the idea.

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

That’s the spirit, Aria. And for our listeners, remember: fear insists the future is fixed, but life whispers, it never is. The next time fear grips you, don’t fight it—study it. See its moving parts, question what you’ve labeled as “fact,” and sprinkle in curiosity. Your inner change shifts the variables for everyone around you—even if you can’t see the outcome right away.

Aria

Chef, as always, you’ve given us loads to think about—and more importantly, practical ways to try something new. Listeners, thank you for being here with us. If you experiment with any of these curiosity tricks this week, let us know how it goes!

Aria

and also. as allways, there is an in-depth blog on this topic at W. W. W. The Existential Chef dot com.

Dr Pradeep Ramayya

Thank you, Aria, for another thoughtful conversation. Goodbye, everyone—take care of the variables inside, and see how the whole recipe changes.

Aria

Bye, Chef. Bye, everyone! See you next time!